Holy Autumn, Batman!!!

Ok, so, for the three of you that read this blog, I apologize for the really long hiatus. I know everyone's life is extremely busy especially if you have kids, but let's face it, some handle it better than others. And I, well, I guess I am just not a very good juggler. I feel completely crazy all day pretty much every single day.

Don't get me wrong, just because it's crazy doesn't mean it's not good. LIFE IS GOOD!!! I am loving teaching part time and I can't think of anything I would rather be doing while not at home with the girls. It is truly a blessing to have this opportunity, but I tell you for the first two months of classes, I mean first two solid months, I felt that completely out-of routine feeling you get when one of your cars, either yours or your spouse's is in the shop and you are trying to figure out who has the kids and who is dropping whom off at which place when and when will you get picked up or are you doing the picking up and so on and so on. Like I said, not a great juggler. But the juggling is so that I can do what I want to do and still have the girls at home. Although Melaina is at school until noon everyday which is a Godsend! And don't let me forget the wonderful lady who comes to watch the girls once a week during the day when I am at school for a solid day. As far as I'm concerned, she walks on water!

So now, even though we are still juggling, I have adapted to the chaos somewhat. The girls are doing great and Melaina turned 4 yesterday!!! Photos...

Melaina and her bestest bestie, Brooke along with her partner in crime from school, Alex. I think we have a crush on our hands.

Shhh...don't disturb her. She is in cake land...

Tom and I have even had some opportunities to sing together, well one, but still, that never happens! Life is grand. Well, life is a grand old glorious mess and I'm trying to cope with it. So here are some photos that span the last several weeks since my last post. I promise to be a better blogger now that I've got a seemingly good grip on reality these days...Hahaha who am I kidding!

A few Saturdays ago we had lunch at Williams Hardware in TR then walked a bit on the Swamp Rabbit Trail.

One of Melaina's fun Birthday weekend activities was an impromptu carriage ride for the whole fam - Grandma and Papa, too. Here's our driver (coachman?) smiling for the camera. Oh, and that's new fangled scarf around my neck is Clara who was scared to death for the first 10 minutes or so.

Clara is too cool for school.

Although usually up for adventure, Melaina didn't love picking apples while being on Daddy's shoulders while he was climbing a tree. Wonder why?

Poor thing won't keep a dang bow in her hair to save her life, but she's sweet as can be so who cares. She's looking a little "children of the corn"-esque in this photo, but still more sweet than creepy.

In the mass of pumpkins, no bow, but with sippy cup. All is good.

That girl is serious about her birthday cake gelato.

My four adorable children from left to right: Clara, Gradley (Melaina's imaginary friend), Melaina, and Baby Kitty. See, Tom, we have plenty of children already!!!!!!

How Many Women Are You?

I don't know about you, but life with children sometimes brings out the best in me and then, sometimes the worst. I mean let's be honest. The monotony of staying at home can be overwhelming. I know that sounds crazy because sure, living a slam packed crazy busy life can be overwhelming, but a monotonous one? How can the seemingly meaningless albeit necessary tasks of home life be overwhelming? Well, I tell you (and it's my blog, so there) that they certainly can be.

But the cool thing is I think I've found a pattern here. When I am at my most frazzled and bored yet overwhelmed state there is always a common denominator. It is when I am living my life as wife and mother ONLY that I feel like I'm going to lose it. Now I know what some people will say to this, that I should count myself fully blessed to be a wife and mother and that there is no greater call in this world. I'm not arguing that at all. It is incredible to be a wife and it is a great joy to be a mother to my two darling girls. But guess what???? There is more to me!

Ahh! Shock. Gasp. Guffaw if you will, but it's true. And it is when I have neglected the other parts of myself that I begin to feel like I'm drowning, barely keeping my head above water and gasping for air. It makes sense I guess, you can't starve people and expect them not to revolt even if these people are just other parts of yourself.

So, just who are these other women you may ask?? Besides wife and mother, I am sister, friend, daughter, comedian, teacher, singer, poet, artist, healer, student, thinker, nudist (just kidding), chef, philosopher, speaker, bohemian, dancer (when no one's watching), and free wheeling' feminist. Ah, that felt good.

There are so many facets to every woman and we just so often get jumbled up with daily life that we forget to give voice to those other ladies that are just as much a part of who we are. It is when I bury these others that I become cynical, critical, mean, ugly, indifferent and just plain depressed. So why is it so hard to let ourselves be all these things at the same time? There's a part of us that feels that we need to express ourselves in small bits so as to not rock the boat too much. That we need only to decide which one of us the other people in our lives need us to be the most and we let that one shine.

Now, I'm not saying that I have a choice today whether or not I'm going to be a mother or a dancer/speaker/etc, I dot. Once a mother, it isn't ever a role you can hang on the shelf, even for a moment. But I'm saying that maybe me and my selves can co-exist. I mean after all, isn't that what I want my daughters to see? Don't I want them to know all of me and see that they too can be many women and not just what the world says they need to be? We are not Kodak moments preserved in some photo album. We are not slivers of complete people, but are full round and whole.

Ok, so I'm rambling a bit. Got all up on my soap box. So what now? All I can do is to be aware that all of me is here for the being. All of me needs to be fed and to be expressed. All of me is pretty darn cool!

Life and Other Stuff...

It's been while since I last posted and it seems like the entire month of July flew by! There's been some good things and some heartbreaking things that have occurred since I last posted. Everything that has happened, the good and the bad have really caused me to stop, count my blessings and put life in perspective. It sounds so darn cliche, but dang it, I'll say it anyway...every moment is a gift, my friends!

So, lest I become too heavy, here's a video from Melaina's final performance after her week at dance camp. She was a hoot!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=joQKs2_n0pg

The Light at the End of the Tunnel!!

So I wrote a few posts ago about this 21 day cleanse that my husband and I have had the gaul to embark upon. Let me just walk you through the last 18 days of crazy sexiness.

First 5 days of cleanse = HELL. 'Nough said.

Day six: Rounded a corner, feeling much better.

Day seven: Even better

Days eight through twelve: Coffee cravings gone! Sweet cravings, gone!! Enjoying green juice more and more and although this is tough, we are half way through. Woot Woot!!

Days 13, 14: Dear God!!! What the hell was I thinking?!? Major speed bump on the road to being Crazy Sexy!! Sitting in floor with iPad reading the diet book trying to find one reason why I shouldn't give up and call it a day. I mean, what could 21 days do for me that 14 didn't?? Huh?? tell me, you stupid, stinking, self-righteaous, do-gooder, kill joy! (Keepin' it clean on the blog. Won't write what I really said) CLEANSE THIS!!

Deep breath. Namaste.

After having a real heart to heart with myself, on to day 15.

Day 15: Hard, really freakin' hard.

Day 16: Hard, but feeling strong willed and determined...

Day 17: I'm gonna kick this cleanse's booty, but it's still hard.

Day 18: Feeling pretty depleted physically, but my spirits are up, my weight is down and tomorrow is day 19.

Will I ever do this again? Doubtful, but I do know this: I don't miss meat, I don't miss milk. I miss the heck out of some coffee and wine (I guess I love my mood altering beverages, my stimulants and depressants) and two salads a day gets kind of old after awhile.

All in all I am calling it a success!!! Well, with three days to go, that is.

The main thing I have learned about myself is that the growth happens, either physically, spiritually, emotionally, etc when you make it past the breaking point and reach really freakin' deep within yourself and find that all too quiet voice that says "girl, you can do this".

Ok, now for a little melodramatic silliness. No I am not G I Jane, but I love this scene and this drill sergeant's voice is similar to the one in my head that was having a "come to Jesus" meeting with me on day 14... Enjoy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1Bd5DhItKQ

Clara turns 1!!!

On July 5th, Clara Faye Dickinson turned 1 year old!!! I really can't believe how quickly time has passed and I have to say that I am a little sad that those sweet tiny baby days are behind us. I used to think the same thing of the women who said they were sad that their child was turning 1 as I did those women who said they loved being pregnant. Something like, "Oh, please!!" But really, I have loved this past year with Clara so much. I remember with Melaina I was so excited to reach every milestone that 1 year old seemed much like a victory for the whole family, but it's different this time around. Maybe since I now know by having experienced it before, just how fast it all goes. So, enough with the ho-hum...on with the party!!

We had Clara and Presley's party together on the 4th! Presley's birthday is on the 4th so Laura and I were in the hospital at the same time and I really cherish those memories. How cool is it to have your best friend having a baby around the same time as you much less the actual "same time" as you! Really, we ordered pizza and hung out in each other's rooms. It was just about as much fun as postpartum gets!!

So the party was a blast! It was a pool party followed by pizza and cake. (Tom and I were drooling over the yummy food since we are still on the #$!@-ing cleanse.) The little ones had so much fun as did the older sisters and their buds.

Here are some pics of the par-tay!!

Everyone having fun in the pool...

Me and my Clara...

Melaina and Brooke chowing down with their friend Luke...

Party pic...

There's my Miss America...

These girls were in denial that the party wasn't for them!

The cake and cupcakes! Yum, I just drooled a little...

Us mamas singing "Happy Birthday"...

That cupcake didn't stand a chance...

Presley made a very nice modern art painting with her icing!

This may be my very favorite picture. Sisters and sisters having fun together!!

Crazy Sexy or Grumpy Boring?

So a couple of posts ago, I wrote about the "new leaf" that Tom and I have turned over in terms of our outlook on food and our health. Well, we decided to kick it up a notch and go on a 21 day adventure cleanse. That's right, adventure cleanse. Those two words really should not be in the same sentence should they? This cleanse come from the Crazy Sexy Diet by Kris Carr. After day two, Tom decided that it needed a new name...Grumpy Boring Diet because that pretty much described the diet as well as us and our demeanor while beginning the diet.

So why this cleanse? Well, the idea is that our normal diets are very high in acidity and to bring oneself to a more optimum health, ones diet needs to be much more on the alkaline side of things. Acidity increased inflammation. Inflammation is the root cause of many diseases, anxiety issues, mood swings, depression, and down right feeling crummy.

Well let me just tell you that the first 5 days were absolutely hell on earth. Even though we had been eating so much better and getting cozy with our new juicer, we still relied on our comforts that are near and dear to our hearts. These comforts are: coffee (every single morning and sometimes afternoon), wine (a glass, sometimes 2 at least 4 nights a week), the occasional ice cream, cheese (since I had the go ahead from the pediatrician to have dairy again, OMG how much do I love gruyere!!). I could go on, but I am salivating and getting off point.

So here's the deal with the cleanse. No coffee. No alcohol. No meat, dairy, or eggs. No gluten. Pretty much no processed foods. No sugar, refined or pure. Dear God, help me.

So what do we eat on this thing you might ask? Lots and lots of raw vegetables, plenty of cooked ones, some fruit, whole grains like quinoa, brown rice, beans, nuts and that's about it. If we feel absolutely crazy at the end of the day and nothing else will do, we can have two squares of 70% cacao dark chocolate. Sounds like a freakin' party right?

Well, I have to say that we finally turned a corner on day 6 and, speaking for myself although I think my hubby feels the same, I feel pretty fantastic. Really! No kidding. And I have cooked some pretty tasty meals that I was kind of scared of cooking prior to this diet. We are at the end of day 8 and I actually have energy and feel good inside. I know this sounds crazy but I am really seeing that this is not just a cleanse of the body, but emotions, spirit, it's all tied in together.

Now before you start to think that I'm some goody goody, let me just tell you that although I might remain a vegetarian (I just don't miss meat AT ALL), after the 21 days are over some things are coming back into the diet, though hopefully more sparingly than before. These things are COFFEE!!! I just love it, but will keep it to a cup a day. WINE, I mean, have you met me? Again, in moderation (nursing majorly helps keep that one in check. Hmm, maybe I should nurse until Clara goes to college). And maybe the occasional cheese but not often since we think Clara is still allergic to Cow's milk (that's another story entirely).

So I'll keep all of you, all three that read this, updated as to how it's going. Just in case you fancy a look at what all this is about, check out the link to Kris Carr's website "Crazy Sexy Life" She also has a website devoted to the diet and book itself. She has such an amazing story of how being diagnosed with cancer gave her the gumption to take her health and her life back into her own hands...Thank you Erin Paup for introducing me to this whole shebang.

Asheville Part 2

Here are some more pics of our Asheville vacation...

William and Melaina reaching the summit of Mount Mitchell. They had absolutely no idea why they were asked to pose in front of the sign.

The Three Musketeers (Melaina, William, and Emeline) "fishing" in the front yard pond/waterfall.

Everett and Clara in what Tom's uncle Tom named "Baby Gitmo"

(You may think, "Wow, two Toms?" Actually there were three. Tom's cousin is named Tom as well!)

Clara finally free from the stroller at the Arboretum

There's always time for a little song and dance routine...

Two Snow Whites and one Prince Charming!