It started almost 3 weeks ago with a nasty little cold that he shared with me and Melaina. When I caught it, it knocked me out! It was wretched, but life as a mom allows for no sick days, so on I forged, the martyr that I am. (Back of palm to my brow with perspiration on my upper lip having a moment of the vapors while swooning on a velvet chaise.) Then his sickness seemed to be getting better as was Melaina's and then Clara caught it and is still coughing and has a runny nose, poor thing. Her coughing, by the way has a completely different effect on me than his does. Every time she coughs, I feels so sorry for her little sick body and want to comfort her with kisses and snuggles instead of throwing the remote at her noggin'. I don't throw anything at my husband, people, I just want to. No crime committed here.
But here we are 3 weeks later and his cough is gotten worse. It's a dry, frequent, and loud cough. Those who know my husband and have heard him sing know just how booming his voice can be so please imagine the reverberations occurring inside this house every 45-60 seconds. It's enough to make me feel all panicky and jittery and be, well, less than kind. Last night, I had had enough and I just couldn't understand why he wasn't doing anything about the darn hacking cough. Please, for the love of all that is decent and holy, drink water, hot tea, take a spoonful of honey, pop a halls, take a steam bath. To give him some credit, he did drink hot tea (that I made for him) and take a spoonful of honey (that I brought him) and drink water, but not at the rate or frequency that I find acceptable. I beleive that one should be doing all of these things at immersurable speed for as long as it takes to wipe out the illness. Or, if the cough persists, go to the doctor!!! Men's total resistance to going to the doctor is another topic for another day.
I know how all this makes me sound. You all must think I am a tyrant, a witch, a callous ice queen with no sympathy whatsoever. The only thing separating me and Kathy Bates' character from Misery is a sledgehammer. I know, I know. I would have really felt bad about my misgivings say, a week ago, but I've had enough!!!
My problem is this: I can't help but see sickness as a personal failing of some kind. Now we aren't talking about serious illness, people, don't get all upset. I'm talking about the common cold here. If I catch a cold I think that it's because I didn't wash my hands enough or rest enough, or have enough vitamin C and that if I had just remembered to take my vitamin everyday, I would never ever get sick. Fortunately for my children, I do not take my psychotic tendencies out on them. In fact, when they get sick I feel again that it is a personal failing of mine. It's all about me, you see. ( You may now gasp in shock.) However, if you are unfortunate enough to be married to me, heaven help you if you get the sniffles. When my husband coughs, he knows better than to look at me for any hint of concern or sympathy. If he were to look at me, which he does not, all he would see is me shaking my head in annoyance and contempt. It's awful and I will understand if you all need to let me have it and tell me how terrible I am.
But until then, I am going to enjoy the relative silence that is my house until the diseased one returns. You, on the other hand may want to enjoy this tune! Ah, Lauren Hill, how I miss you. please come back from Crazyville and visit us soon.
Hilarious! :)
ReplyDeleteAuntie, this makes me smile! You and your crazy self!!! :)
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